dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
