White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
