it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
