And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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