I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
