you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
