summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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