Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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