As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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