Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
