so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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