Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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