so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
