so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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