Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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