He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
