You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
a search helicopter?!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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