o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
