Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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