i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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