There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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