I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
