So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
