just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
