She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
