ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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