im gay
i know
yea but for you.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
