Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
