she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
