Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
