guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
