Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize