he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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