I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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