we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can feel your judgement through the phone
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
