As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
