Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
