I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This baby is an asshole
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
