Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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