he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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