today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
