Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
