But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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