just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
And then he peed in my hair
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