I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he fucked my hip out of place.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
