So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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