FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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