Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
