what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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