even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
