Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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