the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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