apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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