matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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