OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
