I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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