dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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