sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
