it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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