I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
