We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
