It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
